am i on track

sometimes life throws the biggest challenges at you... in pretty much all aspects... it can be a simple thing like what to have for breakfast.. what to wear.. or it can be one of the tougher ones... like do i want this to be what i do for the rest of my life.. do i want this to be what i do for the next month... do i even like what im doing? .. or it can be am i with the person i want to be with... do i want to be with anyone? am i better at being alone... so many decisions... all of which can be very difficult...or pretty much mean nothing. but every decision... has alot of repercutions... should i go to this bar.. what will happen if i go there... who will i see... what will i say to them.. will i want to do something i shouldnt? if i do want to do something i shouldnt.. why do i want to? what happens if i do... is it worth it? is anything ever worth it? is that even a real question... because what makes something worth it... is it because things need to be a certain way... do we ever even really know that.. do we ever even really know what we want or is it all just a big guessing game? because sometimes thats how it feels.. today i want to be in a relationship.. im madly in love.. yesterday.. i wanted to be single...wanted a certain someone to notice me..and he did... then what? what does it mean.. what does any of it mean... is it possible that there is really only supposed to be one person in our lives.. or are we ment to just go through life meeting as many ppl as possible... taking as much as we can from each person..and going from there... are there only certain people who are actually capable of being in a relationship.. i always questioned why ppl could go astray when theyhad that one person who was madly in love with them...but now i get it.. is it cus the love isnt strong enough..is the love even real? or is it that i just want more then i should.. will i ever know? one second i would love to be married..then next i dont even know if i want a boyfriend 5 mins from now... things can be so complicated...yet so simple at the same time.. but one choice.... one move whether its wrong or not... can change everything... the question is... should it? is it ment to be? should we just go with our guts and say fuck everything else im living in this moment? or should be shake it off pretend the feeling isnt there... maybe one day ill know.